Doing better, much better :)

So I am going to give you a brief idea of what was going on with us last night, but no juicy details, partly because they aren't that juicy, I don't really remember them all, but mostly because I don't want to say so much that Ken would be embarrassed ( because come on guys, we know I didn't say anything to be embarrassed of! ;) ). 

This past 4 days or so if you have been reading my blogs, I have been going a little crazy. like a crazy psycho girlfriend, totally not proud of that, but it wasn't entirely my fault. I was feeling very insecure, Ken was far away ( and I am pretty used to this, so I had no idea why I was feeling this way) and we were talking at least once a day, and I was convincing myself that Ken was doing everything he could to connect with me, and that he had lots of things to do (all of which is mostly true) and I just needed to give him that time and enjoy myself in Vancouver, and I did. Near the end of the week I noticed Ken was acting weird, he was leaving his phone off charge and letting it die, and not texting me back, and calling me as usual but not really being there to talk to me. I went crazy, I felt abandoned and insecure, and unloved.

So lat night we talked about it. Ken could not for the life of him understand how in the span of a couple days, I could go from knowing how much he loved me to feeling so insecure. I didn't know how to explain that to him, and I couldn't understand why he didn't understand. He did admit to being a little evasive at the end of the week, and he apologized. In his not understanding though he did say something very hurtful to me, and which I responded with something just as hurtful. It wasn't okay for either of us to act that way and it took a lot of the night just to get over those words enough to talk about everything that had been going on in the past week. In the end we decided that what we were arguing about was hurt feelings more than anything, there was nothing to really argue about. It wasn't quick but after several hours of deciding we were going to hear the other person through and actually listening we began to understand each other. We are still working very hard on our communication and we are certainly not perfect. I love Ken so much, and I was so happy at the end of the night.

When all was said and done, Ken spanked me, what he calls "a sanity spanking" and it was, well I was relieved when it was over. It wasn't something that I enjoyed but I was glad he did it, I needed him and he was there.

ps. partly through typing this post I got spanked because I was supposed to be doing homework. But that's another post. 

So Good, its Bad

So I have been really good for the past week or so, and that's great right!?
But not! Here is a little conversation from earlier today:

Hello Darling, how are you this morning

Really good! I have been shopping all morning


You have been so good lately! I am so proud of you, you deserve a good day of shopping!

Awe Thanks Baby!

yeah it's great so far right?! More conversation just chatting about our days...

Baby?


Yeah

You know how I have been really good lately?


Yeah, of course *worried tone*

I feel like I am going to explode


You want to be bad?

No!   I just feel like I am going to rip your head off is all 
I want to be good, I just feel like a ticking bomb is all


I know how to fix that

Really? How (very hopeful)


I will just have to spank you

:| humphh

Rules, Rules, Rules

Rules as Written by Ken, off the top of his head.

1. No hitting my face
2. No "whatevers"
3. No swearing 
4. Listen to me, no questions, no arguing. 
5. "If you don't got something nice to say do say anything at all"
6. No attitude 
7. Don't be selfish 
8. Be respectful 
9. Be kind to others 
10. Do all of your homework to the best of your ability in a timely matter
11. Show Love and Kindness to all and let the light of God shine through
12. Be prepared EVERY time you leave the house, ie/ cel, bus pass, keys
13. eat regularly

Don't make me Spank you on Valentine's Day

Enjoy! 

What If...

This is a thread questionnaire on LDD network. Ken and I did this together and it was quite fun so I thought I would share it here as well :)

As answered by Ken and Recorded by Barbie :)

1. What If your girlfriend gets a speeding ticket?

Talk to her, if it happens again then spanking for every time after that

2. What if your girlfriend texts and drives?

lecture and spanking. No warnings.

3. What if your girlfriend talks on the phone and drives?

 lecture and spanking. No warnings.

4. What if your girlfriend wears pants?

...I will admire her bum? haha doesn't matter she can wear whatever she wants. 

5. What if your girlfriend throws something across the room in anger?

It depends on what she is throwing and why. But I can imagine several scenarios where that would end in a spanking. 

6. What if your girlfriend argues with you about something?

I listen, and depending on her attitude she may have a sore behind. 

7.What if your girlfriend smokes a cigarette?

It just would not happen. 

8. What if your girlfriend spends over 100 dollars without asking?

We are not married yet so there are no consequences for this. She handles her own finances at this point. 

9. What happens if your girlfriend get in between you and your children?

We do not have children, and I don't understand this question. 

10. What if your girlfriend lies?

spankins. with the cane. 

11. What if your girlfriend curses?

soap, and spankin'

12. What if your girlfriend loses the car keys?

hugs and kisses and prayer to find them (she swears by praying for lost things) and we will find them together. Maybe a little irritation at her losing them.

13. What if your your girlfriend tells you to be careful or slow down on the road?

I would be careful and slow down on the road...but if she keeps nagging I will hit the "ejector seat" button.

14. What if your girlfriend goes outside barefooted?

I would wash her feet after?...this only a problem if it's winter, but she's smarter than that so...

15. What if your girlfriend leaves the house (for an extended period of time) without asking?

She doesn't need to ask, but I would like to know where she is (if it's a long time). 

16. What if your girlfriend went to a bar with her friends and had a glass of wine?

Kudos to her for trying wine again!...haha she hates it

17 What if your girlfriend backtalks?

spankin's 

18. What if your girlfriend went through your cell phone?

this happens all the time, it drives me bonkers. she loves it, let her enjoy the little things (he was laughing pretty hard as he said this one) 

19. What would you do if your girlfriend cried/begged her way out of punishment?

It would probably make the punishment worse, for not cooperating. If she was genuinely upset we would stop and discuss and then proceed with the punishment when she is ready.

20. What would you do if your girlfriend did not clean the house?

We do not live together...but the answer would be " feel her forehead, there is something wrong if she has not cleaned the house, we may have to go to the hospital" 

This was a fun exercise to do together...a couple we hadn't really thought about before hehe :).