Fun Fact

I have this thing, where about once a month I pull an accidental and unpreventable all-nighter. Tonight/ this morning is one of those times. It is now 6:30 my time, and I am waking Ken up around 8, and I work at 11. I have not slept, and I won't until tonight. I am not tired. Ken thinks it's the weirdest thing, haha, so do I really but it's been happening for a really long time so it's just something I do I guess. Not completely sure why I am blogging about it, but I am. Fun fact about Barbie I guess!

Confusion

Okay so the following post will not make very much sense, I am confused and this is me trying to express what it is I am feeling, but honestly I don't know what that is. A couple things to note before reading. One I hate being punished I know we all do but I am just putting it out there. I hate when I get spanked, and I hate when I feel like I have made Ken feel any way other than delighted. Earlier today I was talking to a friend and we discussed how when our "HOH" reminds us how in Ken's words "I don't treat you this was I don't understand why you think it is okay" completely breaks us, and it's true it does. I enjoy making him proud of me and I really do respect him and want to submit to him. Two, I am not good at submitting, it's not natural for me (well it doesn't feel natural) generally I am in some sort of trouble at least every three days or so, and I wish that wasn't true. Third, Ken gets me, he understand things about how I am feeling and what I need even when sometimes I don't, and I have a love hate relationship with that ability. Forth, I am not the best writer (lol, but I write a blog) I try though, I really enjoy reading other DD blogs and the way those women are able to articulate themselves and make you understand what you were thinking is amazing to me, and I don't think I have that at this point. With all of that said this is what I wrote about half an hour ago and I have chosen not to even re-read it because it is how I was/am feeling.

Earlier today I wrote a blog post about how I am feeling much like "a ticking bomb" This is a first for             me...but this is the longest time I have gone without being in trouble as well (it's been about a week) I am really proud of myself and I really want this streak to continue for as long as possible. The rules that Ken has in place for me are important to me and I hate to let him down.

 On that note I am starting to feel well, confused really by everything I am feeling so here we go. I am anxious, upset, happy, irritated, controlled but mostly confused. This post isn't making any sense I know and I am sorry for that but right now I am not making any sense (if you know what I mean). Up until now I didn't think that DD was something I needed it is something I want for Ken and I because I know that it brings us closer together and to some degree our relationship needs it. And I guess I knew that I needed his dominance, and rules set in place, and a foundation from him and all of the things that this special relationship we have provides. I guess what I am saying is that I didn't know that I needed to be spanked in order to stay sane...and I am still not completely convinced that is true. 

I am so confused. Anyways I have tried my best to convey this to Ken, and I think he understands what I am trying to say better than I do haha so I have asked him to help me (Ken likes it when I do that, ask for his help, even though I know he will give it to me anyways) So he said he wants to think his decisions through and we will talk about it tomorrow. 

 I am both relieved and worried. also confusing. gah. 

Okay, Thankyou for reading this far haha, I appreciate it . A couple things to note after reading this. One, I technically have gone about two months without a spanking. You see, as some of you may know, Ken and I stopped "practicing DD" for about eight weeks, two months ago. It was different though because we were not in DD, I was angry when we stopped so was he, I had no interest in doing it again and I didn't think he did either (that is all in a different blog post however) the point is when we did "start again" it was different, so for the most part I feel like we have only been doing this for two months. Also during the break there were a million things distracting me from the thought of DD. When those million things subsided Ken introduced DD back into our relationship rather swiftly.

I would really love to hear some opinions on this post, and again Thank you for reading this far!

I Love Lucy

DD? Yeah it used to be the 'norm'...you know before 50% of marriages ended in divorce ;).


This is a super loving relationship, and Lucy is oh so very opinionated and very much her own person. 
AND her husband spanks her when he sees fit. 
This is encouraging as many couples and the submissive partner especially worry that they may become "a mindless droid" as I once read. However, if it is done right, with love and trust there is nothing to be feared! 
Ken and I found this quite refreshing! 


There is also a YouTube video where Lucy is shown in many 'Domestic discipline' scenarios on the show I Love Lucy, I will link it below. 

I Love Lucy - Domestic Discipline

The Man - Grey's Anatomy

"Eli, I'm tired."

"Good! Then tell me I was right so we can kiss and make up."

"Not that tired!"(Miranda starts walking away)

(Pauses) "Miranda Bailey, we are not inside the hospital (Miranda turns around). Inside the hospital, you're the man; that's the protocol. But outside, I'm the man (Miranda rolls her eyes). I. am. the man, me. And you can call me Cromagnon, or old fashioned, but that is not going to stop me from taking you home to my bed tonight, and showing you what kind of man I am. Now, how's that? Does that protocol suit you?"

(softly) "Yeah."

"Good."

(Kiss)

"Mm (as he tastes the kiss), be at my place in 15." (Eli turns and walks away)


I found this excerpt of Grey's Anatomy quoted on a different DD blog. I would also like to post it as I watched this episode and thought: "SEE!! it's wonderful! and sexy and amazingly romanatic. To be loved so much by someone that they will take charge and be strong so that you can lean on them, so that when you are tired of being "the man" they are right there for you, even when (in the moment) you don't know that's what you need!"