Thursday, February 2, 2012

Sneaking = not a good idea

pretty obvious and straight forward right? I thought about not even blogging this but I haven't seen my blog  in a little while so I shall tell you all what went down in regards to me testing the waters on this "no reading blogs" thing... it wasn't fun, pretty obvious again.

Anyways, the plan was to do it last Friday night, we had planned to go see a movie and I asked if we could do it after (sitting watching a movie is quite as enjoyable after a spanking, you know?) so he said that was fine. We went an saw Extremely Loud, Incredibly Close. It was an amazing movie, and I cried the entire time, like the whole thing...and for like 45 minutes after. It was really good, but I don't think I could ever watch it again. Let me explain a little...I cry during movies, this is not abnormal, when someone is crying, or something really sad, or really happy happens....but I have never before balled threw an entire movie! I kept waiting for the happy part...but there wasn't really any happy part that relieved the sad feelings. So for that reason I did not getting spanked on Friday night.

I did however get my spanking the following afternoon. It wasn't in the least bit gentle, or understanding like I had thought it would be. Ken was really upset that I was refusing to see this his way, and refusing to be on board with it. He knows how I feel and he understands but this is his decision, and I am to follow.

This is hard for me.

For most, I think.

I admit that I certainly wasn't giving my all to submitting to Ken and this new rule. It doesn't come naturally, and lately I have been fighting it instead of realizing that this is something that I want to. We are a team in this, it's not me against him... although it does sometimes feel that way when you are the one that ends up with a sore behind. Still working on all of this I am no where near perfect...or even good for that matter.

We haven't been able to spend that much time together in the last week or so because it's midterm season, and I have managed to stay out of trouble with him not around, which is really nice, and quite rare. I got to see him for the better part of today though which was really nice, especially because I am fighting a flu and it's always nice to have him here when I don't feel good. He takes very good care of me :).

I hope everyone is having a great week!

xox Barbie

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