So as we said the first punishment was this past Saturday night.
Rightly deserved of course.
I have this problem you see, when I get stressed out I take it completely out on Ken.
I know it's wrong when I do it, I just feel so out of control.
I will be completely honest, I am both a perfectionist and a control freak so when things aren't going exactly as I planed, or if I don't feel like I have everything completely under control I loose my mind a little.
Ken understands, and he takes my behaviour for the most part, simply tries to make me realize every now and then how disrespectful I am being.
I was really stressed out, and just feeling really out of control and could feel myself slipping, no living up to what I know I can do. I know I can handle what is going on in my life without being disrespectful and slightly crazy. Ken knows that too and he is holding me accountable for that.
That being said Ken and I both knew exactly what was going to happen after this week.
So on Saturday night when i found the chair in the middle of the room I was not surprised. Worried a little bit sure ( this has never happened before, remember?).
Ken caught on a lot faster than I had imagined (this something I read often, but I don't know I guess I thought it would be different for us).
He started with his hand over his lap a "warm up"... that hurt enough for me! I was already pretty uncomfortable, then he moved me to across the chair and I got the belt...I was terrified for this, and I am not going to say that it didn't hurt and that I won't be next time but I wasn't scared while he was doing it, nor was I angry, I was feeling more relaxed and less stressed as it continued (something I know is great! but I have never experienced, and didn't quite expect). He ended with his hand.
Afterwards I was not upset in the slightest, I felt relief and very much de-stressed.
Ken and I just cuddled for the rest of the night and watched a show ( I think Criminal Minds, our slight obsession). :)
All is well in the dollhouse. We can both get back to being and doing what we like to.
I have to say this week has been much better! <3
So, the plan was this that Barbie was coming over to my place Saturday afternoon we planned to go shopping and go see a play with a that many of her friends were in. After the play was when the punishment was going to happen.
However, plans changed and barbie came over on the Friday night, which I really enjoyed, because I got to spend more time with her, but at the same time I could not stop thinking about the punishment. I was really curious and excited in a way to punish barbie for the frist time.
So all went as previously planned out, just before we left for the play, while barbie was in the other room, I moved my chair in to the middle of the room with my belt over it so barbie would see it when we got home and know it was time.
We spent a wonderful afternoon with doing the things we had planed by the end of the day we were both tired. We walked in to my room and she didnt even noice the chair in the middle of the room until I pointed it out.
I sat down on the bed and told her to lay across my lap. I start spanking her bottom with my hand while expaining why she is getting this punishment and how I felt the last couple of days. After I felt like her bottom was "warmed up" I told her to stand over by the chair as I got ready. I bent her over the chair and used my belt on her.
At first I was a little nervous and afraid of using the belt but after a couple swats that feeling was gone and I started hitting her harder this time letting her know how I felt disrespected and that she needs to stop all the eye rolling and snappiness she had been giving me out of frustration.
This felt good, this connection between the two of us. I could see that this was hurting her but she seemed more relaxed and that she understood that what she did wasn't acceptable.
After I felt like her bottom was good and sore I put her over my knee again. I just wanted to show her that I care (as I have read this is what using your hand and her being over my lap can symbolize for her, physical closeness is very important, and I know this is true for Barbie). The plan was to then have her stand against the wall and think about it. Barbie not being aware of this plan once I was finished turned and hugged me, the plan then completely forgotten and I just snuggled her for the rest of the night.
All in all this was a great experience for the bot of us, this week has gone much better as far as Barbies frustration goes, and we have felt a huge change in our communication already. Again we would love your feedback.
Ken and Barbie